I was up this morning, energized by an unusually solid sleep. My only waking moment at 3:33am, which I found fascinating at the time, before I slept for another 47 minutes, when my alarms (yes, two) prodded me back to this world. As the coffee steeped, releasing all of its caffeinated goodness, I unrolled my yoga mat and stepped into myself. Afterward, I settled into my chair with my coffee. Opening the laptop, I checked my email, made a few adjustments to my plans for today, and spent time reading the slices that had already been posted. I was ready, I thought. It was time to write.
And then the internet went out. The modem or the connection or the invisible bunnies that keep my wireless world moving without any assistance from me had ceased to do its one job. The internet was out. I did what anyone would do…I restarted, redirected, opened and closed my laptop. But nothing. So, I waited. With my coffee and my defunct laptop, I sat in my chair in the wee hours of the morning and waited. Actually, I just sat.
Writing this a few hours later, I wonder what would happen if in those moments when life gets interrupted–traffic jam, a long wait in a line, a meeting that is cancelled, technology failure–I wonder if, instead of filling the empty time, I just sat in the space. Fully present in the nothing. Today, I am going to breathe into the times that will find me waiting and try to just sit with it. And, if I can get there, maybe I’ll even forget about the breathing and do nothing. Be one with the nothing.**
**Apologies, as well, to The NeverEnding Story
3 thoughts on “Life…interrupted (with apologies to Susanna Kaysen)”
As you know, the electronic connection for me has been interrupted at strategic times, and, I too, am sitting and waiting for “HELP!!!”. I do, however, sometimes enjoy sitting in space and looking out my rear windows. Loved this one, mom
I like how you talk about “stepping into yourself” and the line “I am going to breathe into the times that will find me waiting and try to just sit with it”. I am going to try that, and see if I can let myself completely go and feel free in the waiting.
oh – I admire you the early morning rise and the stepping on the mat. I have yet to be able to put that into my practice. I am a late night gal. I find my mat before sleep but seek the early morning quiet to start my day. Sorry for the lack of connection but it appears you were able to connect to the world in another way. The stillness of morning.
Thanks for this post – it reminds me to be still and breathe.
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