I am not a member of a 12 step program, but I do know the necessity of taking it day by day, moment by moment when the whole journey is just too overwhelming. I also accept that occasionally, the demons are stronger than the warriors, and that the weaponry held by each can enhance that disparity. Fighting seems futile and retreat can be an attractive option. Sometimes I can’t decide if I should place my feet on the cold floor and rise up or bury myself inside of myself.
This afternoon I am trying to decide where I want to go with my students. We have a visiting author coming in on Tuesday, so there is some prep to be done with that. I had a plan to take them on a venture into their family stories–however they choose to define family–and use that as a springboard into some authentic inquiry. Poetry calls me loudly, demanding more of a presence in the lives of my students. I also wonder about a few visual genres that could be a nice place to settle, especially before the beast that is our NY State Tests comes around in another week or so.
I am paralyzed by these decisions. Sometimes the big ones get me, but sometimes it’s just the seemingly insignificant choices that stop me in my tracks. Today it feels like I am tripping over pebbles.