Sometimes I sit with the words, just waiting for the right moment
which never comes
I know the answer, even before the entire question is released
and
although my heart begins to race & I feel the capillaries opening
deep inside
I don’t make a move.
Words flow around me, arguments ensue, plans are made
I watch and witness.
What does it mean to fully participate in this life?
When does listening become passive acceptance?
I want to be fully present
but I am afraid to lose myself
completely.
amyilene 
This is beautiful and powerful writing. So many hints and stories behind your lines here.
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You captured an internal struggle so well here. Fear of losing yourself … I think of the line in Hamlet, “To thine own self be true.” We know that listening is honorable, respectable – but it is hard when our hearts don’t agree with the words “flowing around us.” Hard to know sometimes if we should speak or not speak, which is best – but do hold onto your heart. Sometimes it needs to be listened to, as well. 🙂
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What a lovely poem! I think taking the time to listen instead of jumping in is hard!
I’ll be thinking about your question for a while, “What does it mean to fully participate in this life?”
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Both questions you pose resonate, especially the passive acceptance inherent in silence. Yes, we must “sit with the words,” but that doesn’t mean we ignore them.
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“When does listening become passive acceptance?” Great question. This is such an interesting poem, with many layers!
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This seems like a great poem to share with students–so much there, and I’ll bet many of them understand those feelings. I love the title, too. “Muted” is such an perfect word choice, because my first thought of what that word means is “dimmed”, but “mute” can also be silent–and that’s the question in the poem, isn’t it? Where is the line between “dimmed” and silent?
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